Last week I had a discussion with a friend of mine. She knows many things about me, including how great is my relationship with my hubby. She knows that there are 3 main things that I truly appreciate in our relationship. And these are: the way we love each other, the way we accept each other, and the way we are honest to each other. These are the three things in connection with my relationship that I’m truly grateful for every single day.
She asked me many times how? How come that we are so nicely connected to each other? And I always told her, that I believe that it’s in connection with honesty. That if you aren’t honest with your partner, then I think it can’t work in a long term, at least this is my perspective. Because I see many people around me struggling in their relationship just because of the fact that they are not honest to each other. They say things what they don’t want, they do things what they don’t want to. And so again she asked, but how could we reach this state, to be honest so much to each other? How could we achieve actually that we don’t need to play roles in our relationship? So this time she wanted to know it deeper. She wanted to know a more detailed explanation. And I think I could explain it to her.
So from my perspective if you are in a relationship you should be yourself. You should tell what’s on your mind, you shouldn’t tell things that you don’t want, you shouldn’t do things that you don’t want. You should actually say things that you want to say, and you should always tell your partner how you feel. That’s very important.
So actually just simply be yourself and be honest to your partner. Don’t say things that you think that your partner would like to hear (what if you think wrong and your partner doesn’t want to hear that at all). I don’t believe that it can work in a long term.
So don’t try to impress your partner, don’t hide your weaknesses, be brave and show them to your partner, just like your beauties. You’re worth to have a good relationship, so don’t play roles (unless you want to live your life feeling always that you’re on the stage). I think being yourself means that you take the responsibility for who you really are, so actually you accept yourself the way you are, which means that your partner will also accept you, because you resonate the same way.
And finally just to give you an example, because all these stuffs I wrote so far can sound like cliché, and it might be hard to put it in practice in your life.
So for example if you don’t like cooking then dare to say it to your partner. Tell him simply that you don’t like cooking at all. And this doesn’t mean that you can’t compromise and cook a dinner. No it’s not about that. I believe that you need to make compromises in order to live in a happy relationship. I just say that if you don’t like cooking, dare to tell it to your partner, that you don’t like cooking so much, so you don’t want to impress him by saying that you love this activity (which would be playing a role). And you can also tell him how you love him, so you try your best to cook a dinner for him (which is not playing a role, that’s the truth). And so you didn’t hide your “weakness”, and your partner also knows what to expect from you. So this way he can accept that you might not prepare a 3 course dinner menu for him, but probably he’ll appreciate that you do your best to cook something yummy for him
I’m really interested, what do you think? What’s your experience? Share with us.