Is it possible to not judge others?
Don’t judge others. That sounds like a cliché nowadays. But can you really do that? Are you able to reach a state where you don’t judge anyone anytime? Well to tell the truth, I don’t know. Because I’m not there yet But if I get there I’ll let you know immediately
What I know though is that you are able to achieve a state where you judge much less then before in your life. I know it for sure because I’m there now
How can you judge less?
So how can you do that? I think this is a process, you don’t manage to do it from one day to another, especially if you judge people many times. I believe there are two key things that can help you in this process.
The first key thing that will help you to judge less
The first thing is to accept, understand and embrace the idea that everyone is right in their own perspective. I know this is again a cliché and it is very hard to accept, if you have many conflicts. But this is something that you need to feel inside in order to achieve to judge lessoften.
To accept and embrace this idea there were two cases that helped me a lot. One was with my dad, you can read the story about it here.
The other one was a conflict with our neighbor, I’ll share it with you sometimes later.
I could feel compassion and empathy instead of anger in both of the cases. These were kinds of like AHA moments for me. I could feel how they could struggle inside, how unloved or unhappy they felt inside. I could feel and see that. Because I truly believe that if you are happy you won’t do things like that. So these two cases really helped me to realize, if someone hurts you it’s not about wanting to hurt you, it’s more likely about his/her fears and frustrations, or even unhappiness.
So try to think about this: there are many things you don’t know about certain people. You don’t know how many wounds they gained, you don’t know about their childhood, you don’t know about their disappointments, so there are numerous reasons why someone reacts or behaves the way one does. If you can identify yourself with this, it can help a lot.
The second key thing that will help you to judge less
The second key thing I think is to observe your thoughts, your feelings and the things that you say. If you notice that you judge others, then stop for a moment and pay attention. Acknowledge that well OK now, I’m judging him/her. It’s important that you shouldn’t feel bad because you did that. I mean don’t start to judge yourself, when you find yourself judging others No, that’s not the goal. The goal is to observe your thoughts and your feelings. Ask yourself these questions: Why do I feel I need to judge that person? Why do I think he/she is wrong? Why do I think I behave better than him/her? Why do I want to put negative energy in this situation? Is that worth it? Do I know everything about that person? Do I know about his/her childhood, do I know about the disappointments in his/her life? So ask these questions, and try to find your answers.
Then try to say this sentence: in spite of the fact that I don’t agree with that person he/she might be right from another perspective. If you can say that WITHOUT any bad feeling, then it’s very nice and I guess you’ll realize in the near future that you’ll judge less and less. If you can’t state this WITHOUT any bad feeling, then it’s OK also Just keep observing your thoughts and your feelings, why you feel the way you do.
And if you do so I believe that in the near future you’ll get to the point that you can say that sentence without those bad feelings
I’m interested, what do you think? Do you often judge others? Or could you get over it already? If yes, then what helped you in this process? Share with us
PS: If you feel you need a helping hand solving your relationship problems, feel free to request an Online Relationship NLP-coaching with satisfaction guarantee