My first steps on my spiritual path

I have a really good friend, Helga, we know each other since I was 3 years old. Our relationship was a bit wavering when we were young, but these waves have smoothened and finally vanished with the years. She has been living a spiritual life for years. We argued many times about a particular statement of her, that ‘If you believe that you can go through the wall, then surely you can.’ I kept on answering to this: ‘OK, then just do it, believe it and go through this wall here, let me see it!’ I’m smiling as I’m writing these lines. Of course now I get the message, I know what she meant then.

So there were these occasions, when I had disputes with Helga about spiritual topics. Actually back then I practically knew nothing about ‘esoteric stuffs’. On one occasion I was explaining to Helga with great enthusiasm what I really believed in since my childhood. It was like this:

‘OK, there is something out there, call it God, Love, Universe whatever you want. There must be something superhuman. There must be something or somebody, I believe it exists. My problem is that believing is not enough for me, I want to know and understand! But I can’t identify myself with these theories like God loves me only if I go to church, and we will only get to Heaven if we confess our sins to a priest. This just doesn’t make sense, I cannot believe these stuffs. Why am I worse than someone who does bad things and then confesses them. Unlike me, who is not doing bad things at all, because I have ‘only’ my conscience. And what about this: according to certain religions/churches only their followers can hope good things after they die…’

So I was telling these really emotionally to Helga, and then she said this sentence, which changed my whole life: ‘Maybe you should read Conversation With God from Neale Donald Walsh! He writes similar things in his book.’ Those were the words that changed my life, even if I didn’t know it that time. I almost immediately started to read the book. With two little children beside me I read the three volumes in less than two weeks.

I was absolutely impressed, this was what I was looking for. The explanation to my questions, the proof that my world model is correct, the model which I built up for myself semi-subconsciously, but always had doubt about its validity. I felt that every single word of the book was true. It was such a feeling like these things he wrote in his book would have been part of me all the time. It was matching perfectly with my thoughts, feelings and beliefs about life and the world. I was so happy, I was walking on air.

There was one particular exception 🙂 I was really-really surprised by what I read about reincarnation. I must confess, I always thought that reincarnation was a fairy tail. And when I read about it in the book all of a sudden I started to think that this is all true, only reincarnation makes sense, it’s so logical. This change was in me was started by a sentence in the book which says (I don’t know it word by word) something like this: ‘Your researchers already proved reincarnation long time ago.’ And I said to myself…. ‘What? They proved? A long time ago???? How come I don’t know about that?’ Of course I started to search the Internet, because being brought up in a materialistic family, I’m was skeptical. And I found proofs, I found the studies of Ian Stevenson, which convinced me the most. Although, I haven’t read his book yet, just some of his studies, but they were enough proof for me.

It was interesting that I wanted to read CWG again about one year later, but there wasn’t that feeling again. It was somehow not the same, so I stopped reading it. Nevertheless, I’m still grateful for having read that book, and I absolutely regard it as a milestone in my life 😉 And I would like to read it again in the future, because I loved that feeling after I first read it. We’ll see 🙂

So that’s how it happened, this is how I stepped onto my spiritual path…. and I have the feeling that it’s happening all the time ever since! I realize more and more from this beautiful world every day 🙂

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