What is Meta Mirror?
The meta-mirror is a great tool for finding out what is going on in a relationship. It’s a model, with which you can see a concrete situation from other perspectives. And getting to know other perspectives can be quite helpful to improve your relationship with others.
Through this model you can see a situation from 3 positions. The first position is actually your perspective, the second position is the other person’s perspective, while the third position is the perspective of an observer, who is not involved in the situation.
How to start it
Think of a situation or conversation with someone, that made you feel bad or awkward. I’d suggest you to start practicing with small problems. And when you practiced the Meta Mirror in some smaller cases, then you can try it with bigger issues.
The Meta Mirror process
- First things first, close your eyes, quiet your mind. Make sure you feel relaxed.
- Imagine the situation or the conversation that you want to discover, that you want to see from other perspectives.
- Imagine yourself involved in the situation or conversation with the other person. Ask yourself these questions: How am I behaving? What am I experiencing? What am I thinking? How am I feeling? What is important to me? What can I learn here? (look for the lessons, what do you need to learn in the situation) Has my perception changed (now that I reevaluated this interaction)?
- Now make sure to clear your mind again.
- Now imagine dissociating from yourself and stepping in the shoes of the other person. So just imagine taking a step back and out of yourself, walk around behind the other person and step in the shoes of this person.
- You are now in a new perspective, seeing yourself from outside, you are actually the other person looking at you.
- So from this new perspective, ask exactly the same questions:How am I behaving? What am I experiencing? What am I thinking? How am I feeling? What is important to me? What can I learn here? (look for the lessons, what do you need to learn in the situation) Has my perception changed (now that I reevaluated this interaction)? (Obviously these answers will be suppositions, because you never know what’s true for the other person, but this is a powerful way to gain new perspective of the situation.)
- Now make sure to clear your mind again. You will move to the third position, which will be more likely to be a position of objectivity, because you’re going to step into the shoes of a third person, who is not involved in the interaction, who is basically just an observer.
- Now imagine dissociating from yourself and stepping in the shoes of the third person person, the observer. So just imagine taking a step back and out of yourself, walk around behind the observer and step in the shoes of this person. Let’s just assume that this is a ‘fly on the wall’ position, you’re now in a place of complete objectivity you just
observing what’s going on’.
- You are now in a new perspective, seeing yourself and the other person from outside, you are the observer of their interaction.
- So from this new perspective, ask these questions:How it is that these two people are behaving? What are they experiencing? What are they thinking? How are they both feeling? What do you feel might be important to them? What do you see from this perspective that they can learn from this situation? (look for the lessons) Has your perception changed from this perspective?
- Now go back to first position, go behind yourself, and imagine stepping back into yourself.
- Now you can open your eyes, and hopefully you gained some insights, new perspectives from the situations and so you can draw some conclusions 🙂
So this is the process of Meta Mirror. You can do it alone (though it might be harder a bit), or you can ask someone to guide you through this process. It’s really worth giving it a try. And if you tried it, make sure to let me know, I’m looking forward to hearing from you and your experience 🙂
If you feel you still need someone to help
If you feel you need a helping hand in the process, or in some of your relationships feel free to request an Online Relationship NLP-coaching with satisfaction guarantee
Have a nice day 🙂