What is inside you that makes you feel the way you do?
When you get involved in a conflict you can try this method, what I call “ask yourself method” After the conflict, if you still feel frustrated, ask yourself the following questions. Why did I get angry? What is inside me that makes me feel the way I do? Why do I feel frustrated? Do I truly believe that what I state is true? Why does this bother me? Do I have fears of this topic?
Because in my experience most (if not all) conflicts come from inside me. Since I started to observe my conflicts from a different perspective, I always ask myself these questions. And most of the times I find the answers as well.
Sometimes it turned out that I didn’t truly believe in what I stated, just like in the case you can read here: Who do you want to convince? Yourself or others?
But there were some conflicts when it turned out that actually the person “pushed my fear button”, that was the reason why I got angry. There was also a case when it turned out, that I had inferiority complex, and that was the reason why I got frustrated.
So it can be many things. Just observe your feelings, ask your questions, and you’ll get the answers. Everything happens for a reason. So if you get angry with someone, try to find the reason inside you. It is there. Don’t try to find it in the other person. Take the responsibility. Of course he/she also has many frustrations and you keep “pushing each others frustrations buttons” therefore you have the conflict. But if you can find your own frustrations, the reasons why you get angry with him/her then the number of conflicts with this person will start to decrease.
And it’s so nice to find those reasons, because every piece you find leads you to get to know yourself more and more. This is a beautiful journey, because you are getting closer and closer to who you really are