In the beginning of my awakening I wanted to convince everyone of what I got to know. I wanted to convince everyone to believe in reincarnation, to believe in creating their own reality and all these new age stuffs. I wanted everyone to believe me. Back then I had many conflicts about this topic. I argued with my mom, with my dad and with many people around me.
Nowadays I don’t want to convince anyone anymore. Why? Simply because I don’t need to. I don’t feel urge to convince anyone, I can easily accept the fact that others believe other things.
I realized this some weeks ago, when someone in another group placed the question, why do you want to convince everyone that all these spiritual stuffs work. So I started to think about that, and remembered how I wanted others to believe me either.
And then there was an AHA moment. I realized that the reason behind wanting to convince everyone was that I wanted to convince actually only one person. And yes you can guess, who was that. It was not my mom, nor my dad. Yep, that was me. It was me who doubted all these stuffs.
I needed to convince myself, that indeed I believe in reincarnation, I undoubtedly believe that I create my own reality. Because in the beginning I was very skeptical, since I was raised up in a materialistic family. I always looked for evidences. But now I don’t need to, because 4 and a half years passed, and I got many evidences in my life during this period. So my belief grew quite strong over the years, and now I don’t need to convince anyone of my truth.
You can see that actually it was something inside me that generated all those conflicts, even if I didn’t know that those times. The doubt was inside me that generated all those arguments. The doubt disappeared, and so did the conflicts about this topic.
How about you? Who do you want to convince? Yourself or others?